Hi, my name is Jenny, and I’m twenty eight and single
And I never tried a dating site before- I hope this works!
I’m like Snow White in the forest waiting for her Prince to come
So if you are into romance and can be my dream come true
Won’t you send a note to my address
And save this damsel in distress?
I’m certain we’ll have fun unless
It turns out you’re a jerk.
You see,
Because I said
That I would be Snow White
That doesn’t mean I’m into
Acting like I’m dead all night
A bag of ice is not a normal thing to bring to a first date!
Not if you want to ice me down and get all sick and freaky- Wait!
I guess I went a bit too far there…
Can we start again?

Hi, my name is Jenny, and I’m 28 and single
Looking for someone exciting who can fill my life with fun!
Be my Indiana Jones and we’ll find treasures never known!
So please come and sweep me off my feet
Tell me where and when to meet
You can make my life complete
Unless you bring a whip and gun
You see,
Because I said
I’m looking for adventure
That doesn’t mean I’m into
Playing “Tie me to a chair!”
A set of cuffs and a spiked collar’s not a normal gift you know
And when he got his bag of paddles I knew it was time to go
I guess I went a bit too far there…
Can we start again?

Hi, my name is Jenny, and I’m 28 and single
What difference does it make how big my breasts are, anyway?
How long my legs are doesn’t matter, nor the cash that I have saved
To hell with long walks in the moonlight, having
Dinners out with Mister Right
There’s no such thing as love at first sight
I’ve seen my dreams all fall away
You see,
All I want, is
Someone who’s not a crackhead
And who’s not an alcoholic
Doesn’t smoke or like to hit me
Isn’t wearing women’s underwear while you watch this video
Is not in jail or on probation has a court date pending soon
Someone who’s not a liar
Doesn’t want to steal me blind
Wants to cheat a little on his wife
Who isn’t yet another pervert
Misogynist, or a racist,
Not a classist, or elitist,
lawyer, politician,
PIG, Peter Pan or Mama’s boy
Jobless leech
Or POMPOUS ASS!
I guess I went a bit too far there…
Can we start again?
(deep breath)

Hi, my name is Jenny, and I’m 28 and single
Never married, and I teach the second grade
I like chocolate covered pretzels, funny movies, Broadway shows
You don’t need to be a movie star
A Prince who rides in from afar
Let me know you as you are
And then we’ll see if something grows
You see,
I’ve realized
I’m not looking for perfection
I know that I’m not perfect
I’m just looking for a friend
So if you’d like to take a chance on me, let’s meet some afternoon
We can talk and see if either one of us is a real loon-
I hope I didn’t go too far there…but if I did-
We can start again