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Dale City, VA

by JoAnn Abbott

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A parody in response to the "No Place Like Home" Spintunes challenge, it is a happy little song about the joys of driving in northern Virginia.

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Dale City, VA
By JoAnn Abbott

It’s just a little town south of Washington-
Only been here 50 years or so.
A sleepy little place with no history
Where DC workers like to live and go
To and fro
Clogging up the roads-
There never was no fighting, here within our city
In the Revolution, it was green and pretty
The Civil War Battles were farther west
Washington never stayed as a guest
So there’s not much of which to tell
Just that I’m in a living hell!

DAAAAAALE City where the traffic backs up every day
Where I-95, is where we drive
And it drives us nuts in every way!
Dale City—Every night I sit here in my car
And I start to fume, as toxic fumes
Smother me from the surrounding cars!
I live just one mile from that mall-
I’ll be home in an hour at this crawl!
So when I say HEY! Please learn to drive some DAY
I’m really saying
I hate to drive in Virginia! In Dale City, VA!

Dale City
There’s a traffic light each fifty feet
And a lot of cops at speeding stops
Filling quotas as they do their beat!
Dale City
Where a parking space is hard to get
Park upon the road, and you’ll get towed
Or your tires will be slashed I bet!
The cops pull you in with a smile
Cause there’s 5 speed zones in 4 square miles!
[Spoken] It’s a PASSING zone lady so PASS ALREADY! Jeez!
Once more I’ll say, HEY
Get out of my WAY
Because I’m saying
I hate to drive in Virginia, in Dale City, VA
[Spoken] No! Blast it! You can’t turn left from the right hand lane!
Would you put down the damn phone and pay attention?!
Turn off the BLINKER already! And quit TEXTING you jerk?!?!
So when I say HEY
Get out of my WAY
It’s I’m saying
I hate to drive in Virginia, in Dale City, VA, VA Vir-gin-ia! DRAT!

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released October 10, 2010

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